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Earlier today, noted Victorian uninventor Mortimer Hosenbaum had unintentionally uninvented what has become known as "the bromble", for lack of a better word.
The problem is that now that the whateveritwas has been uninvented, nobody knows or remembers what it was. It's just gone - whatever it was. Here one minute and then gone without a trace, from the moment it had been uninvented. |
The term "bromble" arose when RCMP Inspector Don McDonovan first mentioned the word in an interview on national Television later today, when referring to the now forgotten thing which had been uninvented, and nobody now remembers. "It could be anything," he said, " - - - a, a bromble, for all we know."
The RCMP is charged with investigating what cannot, at least theoretically, be investigated - because nobody now remembers what it was - and an all but seemingly impossible task. Nevertheless, Inspector McDonovan now has a large team following every last shred, vague suspicion or nebulous notion of what it might have been - to discover what it might have been - and to see if criminal charges should be laid.
Meanwhile, Hosenbaum is now in the employ of the Federal Government and has been flown to a laboratory in Ottawa, for observation, ostensibly, but for the possible judicious uninvention of other things of some inconvenience to the government as some say, and for preventing the uninvention of other things - like the GST, for instance. But, and as we have been informed by an unknown source, Mortimer did not intend to uninvent the 'bromble'; he was just conducting a small scale experiment and does not remember, exactly, how he uninvented the 'bromble' - which is par for the course, he said. Apparently, as Hosenbaum explains, with the disappearance of the uninvented thing, all memory in any way connected with it disappears as well. He just knows that he did, but only from the vague, momentary and quickly fading notion that something is missing, which is shared by many, if not all.
More than one uncharitable soul has mentioned that it would be nice if Mortimer could uninvent lawyers. But lawyers are also people, although many are not so convinced, and people, according to Hosenbaum, cannot be uninvented.
Following the disappearance of what now cannot be remembered, RCMP investigators quickly traced the uninvention of whateveritwas to Mortimer Hosenbaum, a noted uninventor and long time Victoria resident, until recently living quietly and uneventfully - since no one can remember nor misses uninvented things - in the farther reaches of rustic Oriole Avenue.
Early in life, and particularly when his studies in advanced theoretical physics revealed the fundamental bi-polarity of this universe, Hosenbaum reasoned, and came to be convinced that if there are inventions, there must also be uninventions. Apparently, he became very expert and highly proficient in his chosen and albeit solitary field, which, alas, suffered greatly from the absence of all and any proof since uninvented things disappear without a trace, and since no one - not even the uninventor - can remember an uninvented thing.
It is - naturally and logically, and in a way - as if it never existed. Which is, at least according to Mortimer Hosenbaum, perfectly obvious, absolute and irrefutable proof. "All the things that do not exist", he explains, "are the uninvented things, you see. And there you are; it could not be any clearer."
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