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The Empress of Victoria BC |
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Today, right here in Victoria, and precisely at 3:34 pm, nothing of any particular importance or consequence happened.
This continues a proud and long standing Victorian tradition, so long standing that nobody now knows exactly how long. Informed estimates range from dozens of decades to virtual centuries.
the imperial couple in a tender moment before departing from the Imperial Palace in Logano |
This is in sharp contrast to 3:35 pm in other years, one of the most vividly remembered being the sudden and entirely unexpected birth of Hortense H. (for Heather) Daisyfield in the Tea room at the Empress in 1932 - which explains her long-standing nickname "the Empress" - given to her by her little brother, after he found out - to which she nevertheless lived up to, with great inner fortitude and to her great credit, with much, and much admired, aplomb.
And in a uncannily prescient twist of fate, Hortense Daisyfield did indeed become an Empress - the Empress of Logano, a tiny but ancient European country - when she married Ottocar von Blechkopp, then the reigning monarch and Emperor of Logano. His interest in Miss Mayfield was triggered by his impression that she was the Empress of Victoria, when he met her during a state visit to our government. She had been introduced, including mention of her nickname, to his Imperial Highness at the State Ball in Government House, and no doubt because of this, and her royal bearing and natural grace, he came to the impression that it was her house.
And when she blushed whenever he called her "Empress", he took this as a wonderful indication of her feelings for him, and utterly enchanted with her uncommon beauty and natural grace, he hopelessly fell in love with her right there and then. On her part, Miss Daisyfield was swept away by the glowing fervour and admiration of his Imperial Highness for her, and according to a discreet and knowledgable source, their first kiss occurred at 3.35 am, in an anteroom to the vestibule of the Great Hall and, according to some usually reliable sources, was followed by many more later on that night.
Nevertheless, and despite his initial misconceptions, they had fallen hopelessly in love with each other and were married a year later, and in another uncanny twist of fate, at precisely 3:35 pm, albeit local time, in the Imperial Palace of Logano. And the rest, and her long reign as the very popular Empress of Logano - until the imperial couple died tragically, as many Victorians no doubt remember, when their touring car was pulverized by a small meteorite at 3:35 pm high in the Alps at the height of the Gulf war in 1991 - is history.
Meanwhile, Victoria's long-standing tradition of nothing of particular importance or consequence occurring at 3:34 in the afternoon, continues as usual, and unabated. According to some who study such things, 3:34 comes to zero when added up, and this explains why nothing much of importance happens at that particular time here in Victoria. Others, on the other hand, say that nothing remarkable happens here at that time because it is tea time in Victoria.
Hector von Eisenbein - Victoria |
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